Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
