I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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