careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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