I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
