Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
