yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The air taste purple.
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