of course. lets lasso hookers.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
