two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
