i would punch a child for taco bell
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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