I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
