worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
