My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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