she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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