Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
