My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
