let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
