im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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