Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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