I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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