Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
