I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
