My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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