Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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