Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
