youre lurking in front of me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
