I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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