He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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