**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
