I want to have your abortion
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
