Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
