I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
