omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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