Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
