Ambien. No doubt about it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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