He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
