Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
