John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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