Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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