we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
