Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
