There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
