Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
