ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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