he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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