I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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