Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
