It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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