her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
