If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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