hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
