I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
