THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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